relationshipping

who would've thought i would get myself into this?

it's true, i have a new boyfriend.
he is such an amazing guy.

that said, i'm still trying to figure out where my heart stands. i am incredibly nervous. i am trusting God with this. i feel like He is standing there telling me, "lauren, just trust me."
do i have a fear of commitment? what the heck is wrong with me? i guess i just didn't think that it would unfold this way. it came out of left-field and took me by surprise, and i keep trying to figure it all out. i made a list of things that i want to talk to him about, questions i have, and things i want to know. more than anything, i'm confused about all this. i seem to be taking it pretty lightly, and i'm trying to let God guard my heart instead of guarding it myself. i feel overwhelmed, and want peace about all of this. i don't think i could ever admit any of this to anyone, except for erin. i feel like now that i have him, why am i not at peace? i haven't even had time to process all of this and let it sink in. honestly, i keep forgetting about it.

God, give me clarity.

"i don't trust myself with lovin' you." -john mayer.